Pictures, Notes, Quotes and Prayers
Above my desk is an old bulletin board completely covered with notes, pictures, icons, prayers, and quotes. I often find students studying it, reading the quotes and notes with interest. In the lower right hand corner is a small red card, laminated (so you know it’s important) and printed with the Unison Prayer by Thomas Merton. I received this prayer card when I was a senior in college. It has traveled with me since; from college to Montana with Jesuit Volunteers, to studying in Dublin, and now to my office in New York City. It is my “go-to prayer” and one that I often pass on to students dealing with difficult situations.
This year I worked closely with the first year students. This class in particular is embarking on a brand new adventure. Each day is new to them and each experience reveals more about who they will become in the next four years. The beginning of the prayer resonates with me when working with my first year students: “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end, nor do I really know myself.” College is a time of self-discovery and formation for our students. It is a time when they are faced with newfound independence, opportunities to make more of their own decisions and deal with the consequences of these decisions. They often find themselves in situations that make them unsure of which road to take, of what decision is the “right” decision.
Almost every day at work I am impressed at how open and vulnerable my students are with me.They share their stories and look to me to help them discern and make decisions. They trust that I will be able to lead them down the “right” road and that I will listen to their stories and problems with an open mind and open heart. This trust is a privilege and one that I am so honored to hold, even when I feel insecure and unsure about what I can really do for my students. Like Merton prays “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you...and I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road.”
At the beginning of this school year I have referred this prayer to my students, but have repeatedly recalled Merton’s words for myself. “Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost...” is a line that has become my mantra this semester. In all the hectic and frenzied moments, I call on this prayer to help me center and be that source of calm and guidance for my students. Reflecting on this prayer has allowed me to better understand both my own journey in ministry, as well as the journey of my students. It helps me to see that we are in this together, that we are all journeying and making life choices to the best of our abilities, and as scary and unknown as some of our paths may be, we must trust that if we have the desire to please God that we are indeed pleasing God and we are not walking this path alone.
Thomas Merton's Prayer
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end, Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I do. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Kat O’Loughlin, Assistant Director of Campus Ministry at College of Mount Saint Vincent, Bronx, NY